Future

By Elmina
A brand new student ID card in his hand, J headed out of the college administrative building. With the last of the paperwork taken care of, his life seemed simple - and yet it was a mess that he couldn't make any sense of. He had been in college for a couple of days now; he had a place to stay, had already made a few friends and everything looked good. Still, wherever he looked, there was something missing. When that something just happened to be his whole life up until less than a half a year ago when he had waken up in a hospital, not knowing even his own name, it was hard to call anything simple.

There was no name on the ID card. No real name, anyway; just "J", as that was all he knew. He had been told to choose a new name, but nothing felt right. Not knowing what it was supposed to be, he would settle for "J" and be done with it. There was no trace of any name in his mind; nothing at all that would have reminded him of who he really was.

It will be all right. You might remember one day, but even if you don't, you're young and have whole life ahead of you. You can make new memories, make a new personality and background, and make your life to be whatever you want it to be. Everyone kept telling him that. He wanted to believe it, but it hadn't been long enough yet. Maybe he would stop thinking about it one day. Maybe.

He knew he would have to stop trying to look back one day. There was nothing to look for, anyway; no matter where the people helping him tried to find any clues of who he was, there was nothing. He wasn't on any missing persons list, and there was nothing connecting him to anywhere. J figured he had to be from a very backwater little town in the middle of nowhere for this to happen, but it wasn't like he knew where to look, and it wasn't like he really had time, resources, or the energy to do so. He didn't even know how he had ended up in the hospital; all he knew was that he had been in an accident. What kind, not even the doctors really knew.

Even with a new life ahead of him, he still had to wonder what had happened to him. What had he lost? Why wasn't anyone looking for him? Those questions refused to leave him alone, no matter how hard he tried to get them out of his head. It was useless, and he knew it. It was a waste of time, and would continue to be that until he either miraculously remembered something - or gave up. He didn't want to be a pessimist, but giving up sounded easier. There was no guarantee that he would ever remember a thing, after all.

"Hey J, you coming to the cafeteria?" Called a familiar voice belonging to his new neighbor. This caught J's attention, and he stopped staring at the ID card. Life. Friends. Future. He nodded and slipped the card in his bag, doing his best the wipe the slight frown off of his face. Worrying about a past that he didn't have wouldn't make a difference right now, and he would have to accept it. He would just have to believe that he was still part of this world, and there would be a place for him somewhere one day, no matter what kind of life he would end up having.

One day in the future, when he would stop looking back.

END.

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