The situation had turned completely mortifying in seconds, and Kazuki kept his eyes on the floor as Yumiko continued giving him and Soushi her little lecture. "And this, in the middle of the day? On school premises? I ought to send you principal's office, but it's too bad you weren't far enough into your fooling around that I could prove anything!" Soushi just sat there quietly; Kazuki meanwhile was seriously reconsidering the part about wanting to stop existing, because he really really wanted to vanish into thin air right on this very moment.

Especially as the door opened a moment later, and Maya and Tsubaki stepped in. "Sis, what's going on?" Maya asked, looking curiously at her two friends. "Kazuki? Minashiro? Are you two sick?"

"They're absolutely not sick," Yumiko replied before either of the boys managed to say a word. "Fooling around in the nurse's office, that's what they were!" She caught herself at that point. "Ah, heh, not that you need to know anything about that, and Tsubaki definitely shouldn't hear about things like this." She sat down in her chair and crossed her arms. "Out, all of you, before I really do get you two into trouble."

Soushi got up and bowed his head. "Sorry for the trouble," he quickly said then grabbed Kazuki by the arm and dragged him out. Maya and Tsubaki followed; Kazuki was still too embarrassed to say a word, and he just followed Soushi. "That... Didn't really go as planned," Soushi said, rubbing his forehead as they finally made it back to the empty classroom. "And you two definitely didn't need to see that."

"Mm-hmm," Maya gave him a look. Perceptive as ever, nothing escaped her, and Kazuki felt even more mortified as he realized she knew. "Let me guess," she said, looking at Soushi. "You decided you need to take care of Kazuki and took him to the nurse's office. Hmm?"

"That's..." Soushi tried to say, but he then just shut his mouth and shook his head.

Maya looked displeased. "Honestly, you two," she ranted on, and Kazuki was suddenly not so certain which was worse, having to hear it from Yumiko or Maya. Definitely Maya, he decided a second later, his gaze firmly on the floor, wondering if he could vanish through it. "And you, Minashiro? Don't you think of Kazuki's feelings at all? Do you think he wants to do it in a place like this?"

Soushi opened his mouth to say something, but his expression then went thoughtful. "Kazuki does need it more than I do, but it seems to always be me who starts this. I... Maybe..."

"But if this is your fault, Soushi," Tsubaki cut in with a sweet smile on her face. "How about you wait till Kazuki makes the first move? That way you'll be absolutely certain Kazuki wants it, right?"

Soushi's expression went from thoughtful to determined realization. "That... Didn't occur to me. But if that's what you wish."

How was that going to make the situation any different, Kazuki idly wondered, but he kept staring at the floor, not saying a thing.

His question was answered that very evening, after they were done with their Alvis duties. Normally, Soushi would've suggested they stop by his room, and they'd more often than not have sex in one form or another, but tonight, Soushi just told him good night, and he went home. It wasn't anything alarming, and Kazuki didn't think about it too deeply, even if he wouldn't have minded stopping by Soushi's room.

Not until it happened again on the next day. Soushi told him to get plenty of rest, and they went on their separate ways.

What Soushi had told Maya had unfortunately been correct - Kazuki did want it. If he needed it more than Soushi, he didn't know, but that had never crossed his mind. Kazuki was more than happy to do whatever Soushi wanted, and whatever they did was great. Soushi was the one out of them who had better idea of what they were doing, anyway, so Kazuki was quite eager to leave it to him.

Suggesting it himself, he had never thought of. He needed to figure out what was going on, and there was only one way to find out. Well, more than one way, but he couldn't ask Soushi or Maya. Besides, there was someone else who had brought up the issue, and this someone was the one person Soushi would listen to over anything.

"Ah, um, Tsubaki?" Kazuki caught up to her after lunch break at school. "Can I ask you something?" He took a deep breath and waited as Tsubaki told Rina and Seri to go on without her. "It's about. Ah, that thing you told Soushi the other day. It's..."

Tsubaki gave him a smile. "Soushi hasn't wanted to do anything, then?"

"...No," Kazuki admitted. Tsubaki really did know everything, didn't she?

"But you won't ask for anything, hmm?" Tsubaki continued. "You're like that. You can't ask Soushi for anything because while you understand him now, you're still working on the part where you exist and you're allowed to want things for yourself." Kazuki lowered his head and looked away a little. She was right, of course, but hearing it from the Island Core was difficult. "You came back because you wanted to talk to Soushi. Now you understand each other, but understanding also means you need to tell him what you want, so he doesn't have to second-guess himself." It might've seemed wrong for someone of her age to be giving relationship advice, but this was Tsubaki. "Soushi doesn't like taking things for granted, and he'd like it if you made the first move for once."

Kazuki couldn't find a good answer to that. She was correct, and he needed to tell Soushi he wanted it too.

How he was supposed to do this was another question.

"Soushi...?" He called as they exited the classroom.

"Hmm?"

"You... Um. After today's training." Kazuki felt his face flushing. "I... was thinking..." This was way more awkward than he had thought, he realized. How was he supposed to tell Soushi he wanted sex? "I mean," he quickly said, needing to come up with something. "We should study after our duties are done. I think I'm kinda behind..."

Soushi nodded. "I suppose. Kenji was planning something about forming a study group. It's a good idea, anyway. I'll go talk to him about it."

Not like this, then.

"Soushi?"

"Yes?"

"I, ah..." This really was more difficult than Kazuki had ever thought. It was just so very easy to let Soushi ask him to his room and then things just went from there. "You..." Kazuki cleared his throat. "Do you want to come over to my house for dinner?"

"I'd love to, but what would Commander Makabe say about that?" Soushi gave him a serious look. "He... doesn't know we're dating yet, does he?"

Kazuki gulped. That hadn't crossed his mind at all, and he definitely couldn't take Soushi to his room, not just yet. Too bad it meant this was not a valid plan either.

On the evening of the third day - as Soushi told him good night, without the invitation to his room, and Kazuki couldn't come up with anything to say as an excuse to stop by - he was absolutely certain he had preferred their previous arrangement.

Especially later that night, as he found himself lying awake, staring at the ceiling and wanting Soushi. Was it really that he actually needed it, and now that they weren’t doing anything, he was getting sexual frustration? What was wrong with Soushi always being the one who made the first move, anyway? Kazuki wasn't really the one to come up with such ideas.

Allowing himself to want things was fine, he decided. Wanting Soushi was absolutely fine. Soushi definitely did want him - or did he? The old guilt twinged a little, and he wondered if the "Kazuki needs it more than I do" meant something. Did Soushi suggest it just because he had the completely wrong idea about how much Kazuki needed it? Did Soushi consider it some kind of a duty?

...But didn't that also mean he really, really needed to be the one to start it, just so Soushi didn't have the wrong idea.

Kazuki slipped his hand under his blanket and drew his hand over his body. What wouldn't he have done to have Soushi here, touching him right now. He felt so hot, so desperate for...

He quickly removed his hand, too embarrassed to touch himself, even as his body needed it.

"All enemies defeated. Fafners, return," Soushi ordered through the crossing. "Good work, everyone. Go get yourselves checked."

Another battle successfully taken care of. Kazuki allowed himself to relax as he turned Mark Sein around and headed back. How many battles had it been recently? It was starting to feel like the Festum were attacking every other day. Which they were, he knew. There was an attack every four days, currently.

Four days. He gritted his teeth, his body tensing up, and Mark Sein's arm twitched involuntarily as he moved. After getting used to doing it pretty much every day, four days without anything was suffering, and today was going to be even worse, he knew. Fighting the Festum with Mark Sein tended to leave his body a little stressed, and so far what Soushi had been doing had been heavenly. What was he going to do if Soushi still didn't want him?

"...It's not like I don't want you," Soushi's voice said.

Kazuki blinked, snapping out of it. What a time to forget they were crossed. "I, uhh. Didn't mean to..." He paused, his expression turning serious. They couldn't continue like this, and he really needed to do something about this matter. "Soushi?" He said. "Can we... talk? After this."

There was a feeling of something in the crossing - relief, maybe? "I'll be in my room after the medical checks."

Sitting on Soushi's sofa felt somehow more awkward than usual, and Kazuki had trouble looking at his boyfriend. He needed to talk to Soushi and he needed to tell him everything, but he felt too ashamed to actually say it aloud.

It was a good thing Soushi could say something. "We share our feelings through crossing," Soushi reminded him. "I know everything about you." Kazuki nodded slightly, and Soushi, sitting in his chair, folded his arms. "There appears to be a misunderstanding, here. First, taking care of you is not a duty. I... like touching you. The sex has been great so far." He went quiet for a moment, appearing troubled. "It's just that I realized when Tsubaki said it. It's always been me who starts it. I also realize you prefer it that way, but I can't go against the Core's wishes."

"But, I..." Kazuki took a deep breath, then looked at Soushi, trying to not appear too bothered. "What about that part about me needing it more than you do?"

A smile touched Soushi's lips. "Have you not noticed you have a lot more stamina than I do? In bed too, you know." Kazuki quickly turned to look away, the realization hitting him. "I concluded that I need to do it more often. If I take care of you, I can make sure I don't fall behind and actually fail to satisfy you. I..." Soushi went serious. "I do want you, and I'm quite happy to do it."

Kazuki looked at him. "Then, why..."

"The Core's orders. I already told you," Soushi said with a straight face. "Besides, even if I've made my conclusions about how much you want it, and you obviously prefer it if I'm the one who starts it, isn't it a little unfair if it's always me who suggests it? What if I read you wrong one day and you actually didn't want me right then?"

"That's..." Kazuki trailed off. There was no way he would've ever declined Soushi's suggestions, and... He caught himself mid-thought. He needed to actually say it aloud for Soushi to hear. "I want it," he said. "And it's not because of any old guilt or anything. It's not that I feel like I have to, it's... I want to. It's just really difficult for me to... suggest anything like that."

Soushi nodded. "Then perhaps we just stick to that plan about coming here after duties? It's... been long four days."

"Yeah, ah, that sounds good to me. "I... Wouldn't mind if we did that." Kazuki cleared his throat. "And so it has. Four very long days." He stared at Soushi, realizing full well nothing was happening until he said something, because Tsubaki had said so, and Soushi was not going to suggest a thing until Kazuki had done it at least once. "So. Um. Do you... I mean. Want to..." He trailed off, his face turning bright red. "...Do... it?"

Soushi stood up so quickly his chair almost fell over, and even through all his embarrassment, Kazuki realized he had never seen Soushi strip off the uniform that quickly. "Yes."

Author's notes:

Awkward schoolboys from DA days are awkward. But hey maybe Kazuki learned that he can ask Soushi for SOME things in the end. Original series setting because I love my Tsubaki cameos. Also way to write a 2000 word fic for a daily prompt thing. Go self.

- Lady Harken (December 2015)