The slight breeze brought the scent of the sea, and Kazuki closed his eyes, leaning his back against a tree. Lunch hour over at Rakuen had been busy, and he needed to clear his mind. Taking a walk alone had seemed like a good idea. The particular spot he was in was away from the residential areas; a nice calm spot on the hillside overlooking the ocean. It had been one his and Soushi's secret hideouts when they had been kids, and he smiled at the thought. Back when they had been blissfully innocent, knowing nothing of Festum and Fafners.

"You're difficult to find sometimes," Soushi's voice called to him all of a sudden, and Kazuki scrambled to his feet, only to find Soushi standing a few meters away. "But someone saw you walking in this direction and I knew exactly where you'd be." Soushi studied him for a few seconds then tilted his head and adjusted his glasses. "Did I startle you?"

Kazuki laughed. "Yeah. I was just thinking how we used to play here when we were kids." He took a step closer to Soushi and looked over the scenery. "Although back then, Guren Island used to be over there, and you could see it from here."

A hint of a smile rose to Soushi's lips, and he lowered his head a little. "So it did. Feels like it was such a long time ago," he said. "Guren Island served its purpose for resources before we left it behind. Not that you had any idea something like that was going on back then, of course. You got into Mark Elf because I asked you to and had no idea the whole island could move."

"Considering everything that has happened after that? I'd say it was easy being an oblivious little kid. I guess," Kazuki replied. "Still, I..." He took a deep breath then looked at Soushi. "I don't mind, though. There are things here that are definitely worth fighting for." He smiled and looked at the distance again. "Although guess I'm not much good for fighting anymore."

"Isn't it better that way? If only we never had to fight again, that'd be..." Whatever Soushi was about to say got cut off at that point as he suddenly gasped for air and staggered a few steps back, clutching his left wrist with his right hand. He leaned his back against the closest tree, gritted his teeth and frowned, obviously in pain.

It all happened too quickly for Kazuki at first, but he caught on a few seconds later. "Soushi! Soushi, are you all right?" He stepped closer and put his hands on Soushi's shoulders, and at that point Soushi just slumped into his arms. His body was tense and he was trying to calm his breathing, and Kazuki wrapped his arms around him, worried. "Come on, let's get you to the Alvis medical room."

"I'm fine," Soushi hissed, slowly relaxing in Kazuki's arms. "See? It passed already. Just let me catch my breath."

Kazuki looked at him and tried to say something, but Soushi just shook his head, and Kazuki sighed and carefully helped him sit down next to the tree. "Are you sure you're fine?" He wasn't so stupid that he wouldn't have known what it was - flashbacks from pain Soushi had felt through crossing - but knowing what it was didn't make him any less worried. "...What was it?" He asked quietly.

There was a hint of amusement in Soushi's expression, and he chuckled a little. "You," he said, sounding like he somehow found some strange comfort from the irony. "The very first battle where you piloted. Remember? Mark Elf's left hand was damaged. Talk about timing..." He took a deep breath and leaned his head against the tree. "It's not that bad. I've had worse," he added, closing his eyes. "Do I need to remind you that this is all in my head, anyway? It's not real, and it never was my body that took any damage."

"We should still get back to Alvis," Kazuki insisted. "Have you taken your medicine? Or do you have any with you?"

Soushi shook his head. "Not today," he admitted. "I don't carry them with me because I don't need them that much. This kind of sudden flashback pain doesn't happen that often these days, thanks to the treatment we have now, and the medicine takes care of it. Really, don't worry about it. I'll-" Soushi's body twitched violently at that point, and he paused mid-sentence and slammed his left hand against the tree trunk, gripping it for support. Kazuki was faster to react this time and caught Soushi's shoulders again, pulling him against himself.

The treatment they had available was certainly better than back in the day, but Kazuki wasn't very sure how honest Soushi was being with the 'not very often' part. "I'm taking you to Alvis even if I have to carry you," he threatened, holding Soushi's body tightly against himself. "Please, Soushi?"

"This... Ghh..." Soushi muttered. "Wasn't..." He trailed off, his voice dying. Kazuki was about to stand up and pick him up, but Soushi grabbed him by the upper arms and forced him away. "Damn this fake pain. I..." He clenched his teeth then blinked and stared at Kazuki with a somewhat crazed look in his eyes. "It's all in my mind," he mumbled, and the next thing Kazuki knew, Soushi dragged him down and pushed him backwards to sit against the tree. He climbed on Kazuki's lap, straddled him then kissed him.

It took Kazuki by surprise, but he didn't resist. Soushi deepened the kiss, raising his hands to Kazuki's hair and burying his fingers in it, and Kazuki closed his eyes, responding to the kiss as much as he could even if he let Soushi take control of it. It felt good - too good, even, and he blinked, forcing himself to calm down. This wasn't the time or the place for this, not when his feelings were a mess from being so worried. "This isn't a really good time-" he managed to mumble between kisses.

Another kiss, then Soushi stared deep into his eyes. "This is your pain," he whispered. "Yours... No, ours. This pain we once shared. But you need to take responsibility for it," he added before drawing Kazuki in for yet another kiss, his right hand going for Kazuki's shirt collar. He traced his fingers down Kazuki's chest, his intent pretty obvious, and Kazuki froze for a moment while struggling to keep calm.

"But," he whispered against Soushi's lips. "I really think we should..." Soushi obviously wasn't listening and instead occupied himself trying to pull Kazuki's shirt up, and Kazuki glanced around, the realization of their current location hitting him. "Wait, Soushi, it's the middle of the day, we can't do it here!" Somehow he had the feeling saying that was useless and he should've known better by now, but it didn't stop him from trying.

"I told you to take responsibility," Soushi hissed against his partner's neck. He shifted his position a little to work on opening Kazuki's pants, and at that point Kazuki gave up on his attempt of calming himself. There was no way he could've forced himself to calm down, what with Soushi's hands on his crotch, and his body quite in agreement for Soushi's actions by now. Not that he actually had much idea of what Soushi's 'take responsibility' meant, outside that this was one of Soushi's random ideas of having sex in the most inconvenient location ever.

That question got answered a moment later; with Kazuki's pants open and his underwear more or less out of the way, Soushi leaned back for a moment to remove his shoes. He then squirmed on Kazuki's lap while trying to take his own pants off, gritting his teeth and appearing frustrated, but he managed after a while. Kazuki could only stare; now that he had an idea of where this was going, it hit him that this was way too quick. "Wait, Soushi," he tried as Soushi's underwear came off as well. "Do we even have..."

Right at that point Soushi dropped the pants and underwear to the side then lifted up a condom he had taken from his pocket. "This'll do," he mumbled, already busy removing the wrapper. Kazuki barely had enough to time blink a few times and there was Soushi already, getting that thing on him. "It counts for preparations. Has to count," he added, not sounding particularly convincing in Kazuki's opinion, but it was fairly obvious he was beyond caring.

"We still should..." Kazuki said, but Soushi raised his hand and covered his lips, and he just sighed mentally, defeated. If it was what Soushi wanted, Kazuki wasn't going to stop him.

"Give me... Real pain, Kazuki," Soushi muttered as he positioned himself on his boyfriend's lap. "This pain," he whispered, moving in for a short kiss. He slipped his hand down, taking a hold of Kazuki's hard-on then took a deep breath before taking it inside of himself.

The grimace on his face told Kazuki more than enough, but he figured that the condom had to be lubricated at least, because otherwise someone as strict about preparations as Soushi would have never gone through with this. Soushi was far from being himself at the moment, though, and Kazuki had his doubts - except that Soushi really didn't seem to care, and he moved slightly, trying to get as much of Kazuki in as he could. "Soushi, are you...?" Kazuki asked, worried, but even then he couldn't ignore how good it felt to have their bodies locked together.

Soushi wrapped his arms around Kazuki's neck and leaned in for a kiss. "I'm fine. This is better," he said in a low voice. "This is... Here. Right now. Just like during crossing, we're one. But I'm right here, and you're right here." Kazuki wanted to reply something, but Soushi stole his chance with another kiss, and Kazuki just closed his eyes and held Soushi against himself. Soushi just had to say something like that, turning his feelings into a complete mess where he just wanted to hold him and never let go.

His body argued against that, though - Soushi felt tight, hot, and it all was making him need this. It was a feeling they shared, just as Soushi had said, and he realized his boyfriend was quite hard. It also occurred to him that with the way they were going, his shirt would end up dirty, so with some trouble, he got a handkerchief out of his pocket and wrapped it around Soushi's erection.

That done, Kazuki caught Soushi's face with his hands and stared him straight in the eyes. "I don't want you to feel pain when I hold you," he said. "I don't feel pain, so you shouldn't, either." Not entirely true, he quietly admitted to himself as the lack of proper preparations meant there was slight discomfort for him as well, but it was irrelevant. What had happened through crossing, what had happened when he had left the island - Kazuki regretted ever causing Soushi pain, and he had sworn to himself to never do it again.

Even if it sometimes - like right now - felt like Soushi really didn't seem to mind, at least the physical pain part. "Why?" Soushi questioned, interrupting his thoughts. He leaned closer and pressed his forehead against Kazuki's. "It doesn't hurt," he whispered. "I want this. Want you," he continued, covering Kazuki's lips with his own again, and Kazuki relaxed and wrapped his arms around Soushi's shoulders, completely melting under the kiss. "Want all of you..." Soushi muttered between kisses. He tried moving his body a little, pausing to take a deep breath before pressing himself against Kazuki.

He squirmed on Kazuki's lap for a bit to find the best way of continuing his movement, and Kazuki helpfully lowered his hands to Soushi's hips, pulling him against himself. The discomfort was fading, and that heated feeling of wanting Soushi took over. Soushi supported himself on Kazuki's shoulders, leaning in for another kiss then concentrating on moving his body. The earlier pained look had turned into a slight blush, with determination in those dark eyes. "I told you," Soushi managed to say, brushing his lips over Kazuki's again. "This pain... becomes pleasure we share, and it's... Ah... Kazu... ki..."

"...Soushi." Kazuki found it hard to breathe all of a sudden, and those repeated kisses weren't making it any easier. That intense look in Soushi's eyes made him unable to look away, and he found himself watching his boyfriend, and the only thought he could focus on was that Soushi was beautiful.

Wanting to do more, he forced his right hand between their bodies and wrapped his fingers around Soushi's sex to caress him. Soushi muttered something before kissing him again and gripping his shoulders harder, somehow seeming to struggle to keep himself controlled. Kazuki didn't mind; that continued pressure and every movement as Soushi pulled away then pressed himself against him again made his body need it more. They both wanted it, and he tried his best to move against Soushi, trying to support him as much as he could.

If either of them had been in pain, it was forgotten now. A gasp escaped Soushi's lips before he caught Kazuki by the hair and kissed him deeply, and Kazuki closed his eyes and just lost himself in the feeling as they moved together. Where he ended and where Soushi started was becoming hazy, and Kazuki felt like his mind was going blank. He fought to focus, just to remind himself he needed to take care of Soushi, and he concentrated on moving his fingers, his mind barely registering the fact that Soushi's erection felt rather hot under his touch, and the handkerchief that he had stuck down there had slipped off.

Soushi broke the kiss and leaned back a little. He moved his right hand behind himself and supported himself on Kazuki's knee then took a few deep breaths, doing his best to calm down. He pulled his body up and pressed down against Kazuki again, unable to suppress another gasp, but he then grinned and drew his fingers over his boyfriend's face. Kazuki opened his eyes to look at him just as Soushi brushed his fingertips over his lips, applying some pressure, as if demanding something, and Kazuki captured Soushi's fingers between his lips.

That grin on Soushi's face widened as Kazuki kissed those offered fingertips then took them in his mouth and sucked on them gently. As out of breath as he was, doing this was somehow turning him on even more, and he closed his eyes again, lost in the moment. It felt so good; Soushi's body against him felt too good, and he let his head fall back against the tree, the bliss blurring his senses.

Before he completely forgot what he was doing, though, Soushi shifted slightly on his lap in an attempt to press against Kazuki's hand, and he blinked a few times, trying to recover. "Nnh, Sou...shi... Ah...?" At that point, Soushi pulled his fingers away and caught Kazuki's shoulder to support himself again.

"More," Soushi muttered, his voice a little weary, but the determination was still there. "Just... A bit more... Kazuki..." He pressed himself against Kazuki, the pace of his movements faster than before, even if it seemed his control really was slipping. He breathed heavily, his body tensing up as he neared his limit. He threw his head back, mumbling something under his breath as he tried to take more of Kazuki inside of himself.

It wasn't like Kazuki could take much more anymore, either. He grabbed Soushi's hips with both hands, pressing into him and trying to meet his movement, far too lost in the act to care about anything else anymore. "Soushi... I..." He trailed off, not sure what he wanted to say, not that it mattered as Soushi suddenly moved in to cover his mouth with his own, the deep kiss stealing his breath and blanking his mind. It was too much for his body as well, and he just pulled Soushi against himself, the heat overwhelming him, and he found himself shaking as the strength of the orgasm overtook his senses.

He gasped for breath as Soushi broke the kiss, only to mutter Kazuki's name. Soushi squirmed away just a little then pressed against Kazuki again, a soft moan leaving his lips before he slumped against Kazuki's shoulder, exhausted, and it took Kazuki a moment to catch his breath and get himself back together enough to realize that Soushi had made a complete mess of his t-shirt.

"Soushi, are you... Everything okay?" He asked, remembering what had actually led to this in the first place. He wrapped his arms around Soushi and held him tightly. "We really should've just gone back to Alvis and gotten you checked."

The slight movement against his shoulder made him freeze, but right as he was about to start worrying again, he realized Soushi was laughing. "Oh, this is just amazing," Soushi muttered as he raised his head, taking a deep breath. "But who would've thought sex works as a relief for flashback pain," he wondered with amusement in his voice. "Maybe I should do this more often. Worth researching, either way."

Kazuki lowered his head and sighed, relieved. He then chuckled a little, raising his hand to pet Soushi's hair. "I'm not so sure Dr. Tomi or Kenji really want to research that subject."

"My private research projects aren't any of their business," Soushi replied with a smirk. "And who knows, maybe this only worked because the flashback was from pain caused by you. I'm quite certain Kenji would be against testing it out on flashbacks caused by his fighting, but who knows..." Kazuki blinked then just stared at him, opening his mouth to say something, but Soushi shook his head. "Just kidding. I think the fact that you'd object that one matters more here. It also might be that you're the only one I'd be willing to test this with." He leaned in to press a quick kiss over Kazuki's lips before squirming a little to get away from him. "Sorry about your shirt."

"I, uhh," Kazuki glanced down then picked up the handkerchief that had fallen to the side and did his best to clean them both. "It's not too bad if I close the buttons of this one and cover the mess enough to make it home to change clothes. But, Soushi, you..."

Another quick kiss silenced him, and Soushi looked at him with a hint of a smile. "I'll be fine. I'll go get myself checked and be sure to take my medicine, but as for research..." He mused as he reached to pick up his pants and underwear. "Would you terribly object if I did test it out a little? In case another flashback happens in the future, and it's your pain. I have to admit I'm curious enough..."

It wasn't like Kazuki could've said no to that.

Author's notes:

It was Kazuki's b-day on the 21st of September so I wrote this. Happy b-day Kazuki, have some Soushi! ...So Kazuki's kinda the bottom here even when it's Soushi taking it, but what can you do, Kazuki's not exactly controlling top personality. That'd be someone else here yes. Also, plot what plot, really, there was one?

- Lady Harken (September 2015)