To leave the island was one of the worst things one could do in Soushi's opinion, and Kazuki had chosen to leave.

Why, Soushi couldn't understand at all. He had tried to come up with reasons, but everything he could think of felt wrong. Even this place - the cliff that reminded him of Kazuki - felt wrong now, and Soushi frowned as he stared at the dark sky above the sea. The island was peaceful as always - a false peace, and with Kazuki gone, Soushi wondered how long it would last.

He left me.

He caught himself and pushed the irrational thought away, focusing his eyes on the scenery instead. Was Kazuki even alive anymore? The would outside wasn't safe, and even as excellent fighter as Kazuki might've eventually fallen, especially without support. Maybe the Neo UN could support him - no, Soushi discarded the idea. Absolutely not an option; all those people wanted was the technology of the island’s Fafners, and if Kazuki had fallen into their hands - which was probably the case considering he had stupidly cooperated with a spy - he would have been captured by them; killed, even, if he had resisted.

Kazuki was gone, and whether he was alive or not made no difference, Soushi reminded himself. He had no sympathy to spare for someone who had chosen to leave, and he highly doubted Kazuki would return. Considering the Neo UN issue and there being Festum, there was little chance Kazuki would've made it back even if he had wanted to return. "If" being the keyword; Soushi closed his eyes and lowered his head. Why would Kazuki want to return, anyway? Hadn't he wanted to escape away from the island? Away from him.

It didn't matter that they had shared thoughts and feelings through crossing, he concluded. Kazuki had definitely not been afraid of fighting, or afraid to die - or had he? Soushi wasn't absolutely sure. He had asked Maya what Kazuki had said before leaving, and it made little sense. Kazuki wanting Maya to remember him could've meant anything from being afraid of dying to just not wanting Maya to forget him after he had left. To Soushi, Kazuki hadn't said a thing, and that is where he didn't know what to think anymore.

He left... because of me.

Standing outside at night wasn't going to change anything; dwelling on the matter wasn't going to change anything either. It all came down to that one feeling they had shared - no, they hadn't, Soushi quickly corrected himself. Kazuki didn't know anything about his feelings in the end, and it was better that he didn't and better that he would never know, considering there was that feeling Soushi himself couldn't figure out. A level of attachment that made no sense in his logical mind, but the problem was that if he started trying to figure it out, it made his chest hurt.

Kazuki was gone and those irritating feelings that Soushi couldn't understand or make sense of would fade in time, he was certain of it. Besides, he told himself, he was more angry about the loss of Mark Elf than the loss of its pilot. The Fafners were important; of course, losing their best pilot did deal quite the blow to their defenses and the future of whole Tatsumiya Island. The fact that Kazuki had...

Escaped from me, from my feelings.

Soushi gritted his teeth and forced himself to stop thinking. He turned away, leaving the sound of the waves crashing against the cliffs somewhere further away behind as he walked back to the closest Alvis entrance and headed back to his room. He absolutely needed to stop thinking about the matter, since that feeling persisted. The pain that none of his medicines took away, that cursed pain that wouldn't go away, and he knew nothing Dr. Tomi could've prescribed him would help.

There was no cure for a broken heart, but Soushi denied the very existence of that idea. For the island's sake, he would forget.

But what his mind swore to forget, his heart couldn't.