He didn't cry very often, if ever. It had just never been something Soushi did; the Siegfried system operator had no place for feelings, he'd been taught. He'd been taught to protect the island first, and think of himself second. He didn't even remember the last time he had cried, or what the reason had been; irrelevant, either way. He was above such weakness and cursed the very idea of finding himself crying.

Yet, there he stood, with tears in his eyes and no idea what to do about them. He struggled to hold them back, but failed. It was fine, he convinced himself. Nobody was here; nobody came to this old house - the Minashiro house. He stood in front of the front door then backed away a step, not remembering what he was doing here in the first place. To pick up something? It wasn't the house that did this to him, anyway, he rationalized. He'd been here many times before, and the house meant nothing to him. He didn't live here, hadn't for years and wasn't planning on living here. He much preferred his room in Alvis.

"Soushi?"

He froze at the sound of Kazuki's voice behind him, full of worry. Why was Kazuki here anyway? Soushi tried to calm his breathing and kept his eyes on the house, not that he could see much through the tears. "Soushi," Kazuki called him again. "Why are you crying?"

Alarmed at the realization Kazuki knew, Soushi glanced over his shoulder. "I'm... not," he managed to mutter, not that the lie wasn't obvious with the tears in his eyes. He was shaking, but he hadn't even noticed that until Kazuki stepped closer and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm not," he repeated, even as voice faltered. Kazuki let go a little and forced him to turn around to face himself, and Soushi blinked. The worried look on Kazuki's face was too much for him, and he gritted his teeth, stiffening up even as Kazuki pulled him closer and held him close to himself.

Kazuki ignored his weak resistance and just held him, and Soushi stood there, feeling awkward and horrible. "I... don't know..." He finally quietly admitted, allowing himself to lean against Kazuki's shoulder just a little. "It's... feelings," he mumbled, still unable to stop the tears. "I... Kazu...ki... You think I understand... Feelings...? This..." There was a hint of frustration in his words, but he finally gave in and returned the embrace, just allowing Kazuki to hold him as he quietly cried.

"Shhh." Kazuki pulled him closer and petted his hair. "It's okay. Don't force yourself to understand. Just let there be feelings, for once."

Leave it to Kazuki to say something like that instead of 'don't cry', but Soushi wasn't about to quit that easily. Not yet when that sane side of him kept nagging him about the part where he was hugging Kazuki in public. He pulled away all of a sudden and dragged Kazuki backwards, towards the house, then fumbled to get the door open and pulled his boyfriend indoors. "I," he muttered, trying to catch his breath. "Don't..."

"Stop forcing yourself," Kazuki whispered. He was about to pull Soushi back into his arms, but Soushi was quicker, pressing him against the wall and then just leaning against him. Kazuki smiled and ran his fingers through Soushi's hair. "It'll be fine. Just cry. You'll feel better afterwards, and whatever it was will stop bothering you."

"...Nobody... ever hears about this," Soushi hissed under his breath as he dragged Kazuki down to the floor with him to sit down. "Alright?"

Kazuki settled to sit with with back against the wall then looked at him with the most gentle expression. "Nobody ever hears about this," he confirmed.

It was enough to convince him; Kazuki didn't tell lies, and with that, Soushi just pressed his face against Kazuki's shoulder, allowing himself to sob quietly for a while. He still didn't know why; he figured he was never going to know why, but for now, it was fine.