Suddenly dragged out of an absolutely ridiculous dream where Mark Nicht and Mark Sein were tiny miniature Fafners and playing around the bar stools in Rakuen, Kazuki stirred as something poked his arm. It was repeated a few seconds later, and he forced his eyes open and tried to say something to indicate that he had woken up already, but in his current half-asleep state it seemed it would take another moment for him to actually function, and as a result he just lay there and tried to figure out where he was. As far as he could remember, he had fallen asleep in his own room with Soushi by his side, but what was going on?

"Kazuki? Wake up," Soushi's voice pleaded, and Kazuki suddenly found himself wide awake. Soushi simply sounded unusually... agitated? Or maybe desperate? "Please, I need to ask you something."

Kazuki reached to his side to find Soushi's hand, and his boyfriend took it all too eagerly. "What is it?" Kazuki asked quietly, studying Soushi's outline next to him in the dim room. It was dark outside and probably past midnight, but he wasn't about to start lecturing about it. Whatever Soushi needed to ask him could obviously not wait until the morning, judging by the tone of his voice.

"I love you," Soushi declared, his voice gaining some strength with the words. He still sounded a bit odd, and while Kazuki could feel his face get rather hot all of a sudden, his heart felt like it was melting, and his hand gripped Soushi's tight as if to tell him, 'I will never let go.' It was the truth; if Kazuki had had the opportunity, he never would.

He reached out his free hand to touch Soushi's face. "I love you too," he replied with a smile. It came so naturally, despite the fact that he and Soushi never really talked about their feelings. They just had an understanding that went deeper than what could be conveyed with words, and saying things like this was unnecessary.

"No, that's not what I..." Soushi continued hastily. Trailing off like that was unlike him, and Kazuki caressed his face in an attempt to give him something to focus on. "I... uh." Soushi gulped, trying to find the words, and Kazuki kept smiling. Soushi was awkward by default, but sometimes he was simply adorable. "...Just... love you."

Kazuki petted his boyfriend's hair, and Soushi turned to lie on his back and looked away. His hand clenched Kazuki's with all the force he just could muster, and Kazuki pulled his other hand away from his partner's hair and instead held that hand between his own. If Soushi needed time to gather his thoughts, he could wait all night.

There was a moment of silence while Soushi rubbed his forehead with his free hand then sighed. "What I'm trying to say is..." He took a pause and a breathed in and out a few times. "I came to the conclusion that... This feeling." He turned to face Kazuki again. "It's not making any sense though, and I need to you tell me why it doesn't make sense since I can't figure it out on my own."

"Exactly what is not making any sense?" Kazuki asked, somewhat confused by Soushi's words. It was all clear as day to him, and he didn't have to question his feelings. Soushi did seem to accept his own feelings as well, but there was still something bothering him.

"This... what I'm feeling is not what I expected," Soushi tried. "It's..." He covered his eyes for a moment. "Wait, let me put it like this." He waved his hand a little. "I really do think I love you, but was it supposed to work like this? There's no cherry blossoms involved here, my heart is not racing whenever I see you, and I don't feel like exploding from happiness," he listed. "I don't feel the need to be with you all the time, and I definitely can think about things other than just you, and I honestly don't understand that kind of obsession because it would be a waste of time having everything remind you of a single person." He shook his head a little. "Oh and there was that burning passion thing too. I never felt like everything was hot and heavy and on fire and I couldn't get enough of you." He appeared thoughtful for a moment. "Alright, maybe some of that last part, but does it really count if we're having sex when I feel that? That's not what I feel right now."

Kazuki gawked at his partner for a moment, then his shoulders twitched as he tried to hold back laughter, but he failed only a few seconds later and burst out laughing, his hold of Soushi's hand slipping. The cackling fit took him a good half a minute, and he wiped tears from his eyes as Soushi stared at him, bewildered. "Just... where did you..." Kazuki inquired when he managed to calm down a little. "Learn all that?"

The look on Soushi's face was so precious, something between dumbfounded and embarrassed. "I looked it up, of course," he stated. He studied Kazuki a little longer then looked away. "I don't see why it was funny, either. I'm being serious here, you know."

"You're always serious," Kazuki pointed out, unable to keep a smile from his face.

"I take it you don't know the answer, then?" Soushi questioned with a sigh. "This is rather personal, and even if you don't understand what I'm talking about, I'm not exactly interested in asking about it from anyone else because-"

At that point, Kazuki lifted a finger and pressed it against his boyfriend's lips. "Hush. No, I did understand what you were saying," he told Soushi. "But I think feelings aren't something you can put in a mold like that. Just like all people are different, so is the way they feel love." He crawled closer so Soushi, sat up by his side and and took his hand again. "But what you said sounded like something out of a magazine article or advice column," he explained. "You do realize you were never really..." He stopped for a moment to think of a good word. "That... ordinary."

"So cherry blossoms are... ordinary," Soushi concluded.

Kazuki grinned a bit then shrugged. "Cherry blossoms sound like something out of junior high school romance story," he mused. "Or maybe you would have liked a love letter and a confession in the spring under a cherry tree?" Soushi just stared up at him like he had said something extremely nonsensical, and he laughed a bit. "Didn't think so."

There was a moment of silence, then Soushi gripped his partner's hand a little again. "Would you have..." He asked carefully. "Wanted me to do that?" He gulped, and Kazuki couldn't keep himself from thinking how adorable he was. "We're not in high school anymore though," Soushi quickly added. "So that would have been..."

Kazuki leaned down and covered Soushi's lips with his own before his boyfriend managed to finish the sentence, and next thing he knew, he found himself half-lying on top of Soushi, with their lips locked into a deep kiss. At least Soushi's dominant side won over his awkward side soon enough, and he wrapped an arm around Kazuki's waist while his other hand went for his hair.

"You never had to say it in the first place," Kazuki whispered once they finally broke the kiss. He nuzzled Soushi's face a little then pressed his head against his partner's shoulder. "I always knew."

Soushi petted his hair. "You didn't fully answer my question yet," he then said, changing the subject back to the original matter. "If you understood what I was talking about, then I need you to explain. Did I have the wrong idea after all?"

"No," Kazuki replied quietly. "You just had a very generalized idea that doesn't apply to rational people like you, and besides, we're way past the part where we'd just want to sit somewhere holding hands. And how does it go in romance stories again? Whenever we're apart can't wait to see each other? We never needed that." Soushi's hand on his hair stopped, as if to indicate that he was analyzing Kazuki's words, and Kazuki just lay still, relaxed. "I'm always with you, right here," he continued and placed his hand over Soushi's heart. "Just like you're with me."

A short pause, then Soushi's put his hand over Kazuki's. "This... has nothing to do with crossing though, does it?" He asked.

"It's more about..." Kazuki trailed off and smiled. Soushi just couldn't get any more lovable than this, he was sure of it. "Hmm, maybe existence is a good way to put it?" He then said. "You're here, and I'm here. We don't need to be crossed for that." He took a deep breath. "It just feels like you being here gives me a reason to be here."

"I made you wait for so long," Soushi whispered with regret in his voice.

"But you came back to me, just like you promised," Kazuki pointed out. He traced his finger over Soushi's chest then rested his hand on his neck. "When it comes down to it, that's the true definition of love in my opinion."

Soushi froze for a bit, apparently digesting the information for a moment before he just tightened his hold on his partner and said nothing. Kazuki melted into his embrace, knowing that words weren't needed anymore. Soushi had found his answer, and whether it was what Kazuki had told him or something else made no difference.

Author's notes:

Oh look, fluff! Considering what my other Fafner fics tend to be.

Awkward Soushi strikes. His awkward dere mode is actually harder to write than his confident Battle Commander Minashiro mode.

- Elmina (November 2015)