Reiji had been spending time walking around town when a sudden rain shower decided to pass by, and the boy escaped into the mall, a little annoyed for the interruption. He would have rather stayed outside, but it couldn't really be helped. He wandered around the place a little, checking out if there was any gunpla battling to be seen, or if there was any good food available, or if there was just generally anything interesting.

He noticed a familiar face in the drug store and moved closer to see better. "Oh, it's old man Ral," Reiji stated to himself and walked over to him. "Hey."

"Ah, Reiji," Ral greeted him. "You don't look very busy. Just spending time around here?"

Reiji shrugged. "Had to escape from the rain for a bit. And as for that, well, Sei went to school again in the morning, and I don't think I'm needed in the shop at the moment. I already spent a few hours reading magazines."

"I see. Well, some free time is always good," Ral commented. "You should check back soon though, Mrs. Rinko might have something for you to do."

"Yeah yeah..." Reiji looked around, bored. Ral moved towards the counter to pay for his items when something caught Reiji's eye. There was a whole rack of something that came in many colors and some text referring to protection, but what actually caught his attention was a couple of packs on one side, with different pictures of a Gundam on the cover. Condams? Something about protection for Gundams? It seemed to be some kind of plastic, too. "Hey old man, what's this? Protection? Why doesn't Sei have any of those, we should totally have some."

Ral stopped and looked at the item he was pointing at then back at Reiji with a stern look. "That..." He rubbed his chin. "Ah, you are that age aren't you?" He cleared his throat. "Ahem. You should always be prepared! Any man who thinks himself worthy should have some with him. You don't have any?"

Reiji gave him a little confused look. "Well, obviously not."

"In that case," Ral said, a serious look on his face as he picked up a pack of those Gundam-cover things. "Consider this a gift. A man's honor could be at stake, here."

"Honor?" Reiji looked at him, giving it a little thought. "Really...? I'll owe you one, old man!"

He moved outside the store and waited as Ral went to pay for the thing along with his other items. "Here," Ral said as he walked over to the boy and handed the pack to him. "I assume you know how to use them?"

"Er... no," Reiji admitted but then grinned. "But I can always ask Sei! Anyway, thanks a lot, old man!"

Ral gave him a look as he headed out of the mall.

About an hour later Reiji had wasted enough time, eaten a sandwich (which he had paid for!) by the river, almost gotten driven over by a car and gotten into an argument with a policeman because of this, and finally returned to the Iori residence. School had now ended, and thus Sei could be found in his room working on his homework.

Reiji walked over and tossed the Gundam-cover pack on the desk in front of his friend. "So! This is apparently something a man should always have. Old man Ral said so. Why aren't we using these?"

The expression on the younger boy's face turned from to something between surprised and dumbfounded, gaining a bright shade of red in the progress, and Reiji tilted his head a little. "Huh? What are you staring at me for, Sei?"

"Uh..."

"So why?" Reiji questioned. This was not making any sense. Instead of going into a long rant about how to use these in Gunpla Battle, Sei was giving him that weird look.

"We..." Sei looked down, appearing really embarrassed. "Er, we, um..."

"What?"

"Do you really think..." Sei mumbled under his breath. "That, uh, we should be using those? I mean, for that, we can just... In the... bath..." His voice faded, and Reiji stared at him, a little confused. Bath? Since when did gunpla have anything to do with baths?

Sei went silent, and as Reiji stared at him, it suddenly dawned to him. There were some gunpla parts in a box on one side of the desk, since Sei was building Gundam something-or-the-other for the store display, and he had been washing the plastic runners just the other day. That was it! They didn't need this stuff, because Sei knew some better trick, obviously!

"Oh!" He stated aloud, grinning. "Bath, right! So that's why we don't need any. Well, you're the builder, I'll take your word on it." He nodded. "But you know," he then said, looking a little thoughtful. "You could show me the bath thing then. If it's better without this... I'm the fighter, after all. Need to know these things, and we're partners, aren't we?"

"T-That's..." Sei managed to mutter while his expression turned even more funky, in Reiji's opinion anyway. Sei then took a deep breath, suddenly looking really angry. "Get out," he hissed. "GET OUT!"

Reiji looked at him, dumbfounded. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"OUT!" Sei was glaring death at him.

"O...kay?" Reiji snatched the pack from the desk and fled from the room.

"Ah, there you are, Reiji!" Rinko exclaimed as Reiji entered the store, shaking his head. What the heck was up with Sei, anyway? Sure, he could believe it if Sei claimed they didn't need these things, but why was he so angry about it? Well, there was always the possibility that Sei had had a bad experience using them before and didn't want to hear about it again. Reiji sighed, not wanting to push it, no matter how much Sei's behavior annoyed him.

"Reiiii-ji! Are you listening? I could use some help," Rinko continued. "We need to move some merchandise."

Reiji shrugged. "Oh... Sure thing. Looks like Sei ain't going to be any help right now, so just tell me what to do."

It took him barely five minutes to move a bunch of gunpla boxes from one shelf to another while Rinko was arranging the original shelf. He couldn't shake the earlier episode from his mind, though.

"You look worried," Rinko noted. "Hungry? Sei teasing you about something?"

"Well, eh," Reiji waved his hand. "Nah, I think Sei's just freaking out for no reason as always," he said nonchalantly, trying to play off the fact that he was bothered. He then looked at her for a moment. "You know..." He dug out the pack from his pocket and offered it to Rinko who just looked at it. "Why doesn't your store sell this stuff?"

Rinko smiled at him. "Oh, Reiji... We have kids as clients here, hmm? It's not very suitable to sell that here. Sure, we do get some more mature clients too, but we don't sell every Gundam item now do we?"

Reiji looked confused. "What? Suitable?"

"Where did you get that, anyway?" She peered, a hint of a gleam in her eyes. "Not from Sei I would guess..."

"Eh, old man Ral bought them for me," Reiji replied. "Said every man needs some, but what do you know, Sei didn't want to hear anything about it and got really angry at me. He seems to know a better trick though, involving baths."

Rinko tilted her head. "Really? And here I thought..." She then smirked. "That's good to know! So, Reiji, at least you're interested! Have a partner to use them with?"

Reiji pouted. "Nope, no such thing, seeing Sei doesn't want to try. I don't get him at all, I thought we could use some extra protection!"

Rinko gave him a little bit of an odd look then a slight shrug and a sigh. "It can't be helped. He's still young and doesn't care about certain things. Maybe when he's a little older... I'm sure he'll ask you to share when that time comes! You will do that then, won't you?"

"Yeah, sure thing, if he ever grows up and stops freaking out when I'm trying to help him," Reiji muttered, the slight annoyance clear in his voice. He then stared at Rinko for a moment, thinking about her words. Had she just said something along the lines of 'once Sei would get older'? And what was that about mature clients? Now it occurred to him that Ral had implied something about him being "that age" or whatever. Maybe there was some kind of age restriction on the damn things, and he had somehow overlooked the fact? But if it was an older partner he needed, then all he had to do was... He grinned, giving Rinko a thumbs up. "Hey, thanks! Now I know what to do!" With that, he headed out.

"I don't know what I said, but I'm glad you have a plan, Reiji!" He heard Rinko calling after him.

This was the cafe Fellini usually visited, so Reiji hung around for an hour waiting to see if he would show up. At least the weather had cleared, and he could just sit under a tree. The owner of the cafe was already starting to give him a look for sitting outside and staring at the place when Fellini finally arrived, and Reiji stood up and greeted him.

"Hey, Reiji. Looking for a battle again?" Fellini inquired as he walked over to the boy, but Reiji shook his head. "Well, that's surprising. That's what you're usually after."

"It's more like this - I need a little bit of advice," Reiji told him. "It seems you're the only one I can ask."

Fellini shrugged and smiled. "I don't mind," he said, leaning on the nearest tree. "So what's up?"

"This," Reiji said, holding up the pack for Fellini to see. The man gave him a curious look then held out his hand, and Reiji handed the pack over. Fellini studied it a bit before handing it back. "So you see," Reiji started. "I acquired these earlier today. I didn't have any before and I don't think Sei has any, so I thought they would come in handy. I tried to give them to Sei, but he just yelled at me and told me to get out. Said we haven't needed them so far."

"I... see," Fellini commented.

"Seriously," Reiji continued, not looking very impressed. "Would think he'd appreciate me trying to help, but no. Sei's mom meanwhile just thought he's too young to be interested in such things. Oh and apparently for whatever reason you need a partner when you're using these, and since Sei's not into it, I decided to find someone else. You'll help, right?"

"Reiji," Fellini said, a little concerned look on his face. "You didn't consider the fact that he just doesn't know how to use them?"

"How to...?" Reiji frowned a little. "But he's one of the best gunpla builders around! Surely he would know."

"Well, like you said, he is a little young," the older man remarked. The age thing again; Reiji shrugged, a little irritated that he had missed that point from the beginning. At least he could be glad that he had thought of asking Fellini, since the man seemed to know about it. "But nevermind that," Fellini continued. "You've got it all wrong anyway. You see, these things are not meant for gunpla."

"They aren't?" Reiji gave him a disappointed look. "You serious? But I thought..."

Fellini grinned. "Reiji," he said, leaning forward and holding one finger up to the boy's face. "These... are for the fighter."

Reiji stared at him for a moment then the look on his face brightened. "I knew you'd help me! Fighter, huh? Heh, no wonder Sei doesn't want to use them then, he's not much of a fighter..." He looked thoughtful. "Old man Ral did ask me if I knew how to use them, and I told him I'd ask Sei. Well, obviously I can't ask him. There seems to be some age restriction thing too, from what Sei's mom told me."

"Worry not," Fellini assured him. "You're talking to the right man here. I'll teach you everything you need to know!"

Some days later, over at the PPSE office

"Ah, there you are, Meijin," Allan's voice called, and Meijin Kawaguchi turned to see him. "I was looking for you. You had a delivery brought into the office," the man continued, holding up a box. "I signed it for you. From home, I presume?"

"Hmm?" Kawaguchi studied the package the PPSE Works Team Chief was offering him. School documents, maybe? Or perhaps not; the delivery consisted of a small box and a couple of gunpla magazines, and he made a mental note to cancel his subscription on the latter item since he had no use for it in his current position. The box, however, caught his interest. The box had Iori Hobby Shop logo sticker, his real name written on it, with a letter taped to the side. Kawaguchi picked it up and tore the envelope open to read it.

The envelope contained a message he recognized as written in Gonda's handwriting that read,

"Captain Yuuki,

I'm sorry to bother you while you're away on personal matters, but I thought this needs to be explained.

You surely remember that loud-mouthed redhead whom you invited to school to play Gunpla Battle? He showed up here this morning with this box and insisted that it needs to be sent to you. I was about to get him thrown out of school premises when a couple of teachers heard the argument. Since the guy was so persistent about the importance of whatever he wants to send you, I wrote this message and allowed the school office to send this to your home.

I hope it finds you soon. Everyone at the club misses you, and hopes you are successful at your current task.

- Gonda"

The box was from Reiji? He raised an eyebrow, and opened the box with some effort. There was a brown paper bag in the box, with another message. This one had no envelope; it was written on a torn note paper, also from Iori Hobby Shop judging from the logo, and it had been simply folded a couple of times. It read,

"Yuuki,

As you might know, these are important things a Gunpla Battle fighter should have. I have already mastered their use, thanks to a good friend of mine.

I figured that if our battles are to be on equal standing, I should send you some of these Zaku types. The next time we fight, I will be equipped with mine - be sure to master the use of these before that!

- Reiji"

Curious, Kawaguchi opened the paper bag and picked up the item inside. It was a pack of the Zaku parody condoms.

"What is it?" Allan inquired, and right then Kawaguchi was very happy that he had the sunglasses on so nobody could really see his reaction. He quickly stuffed the pack back in the paper bag before anyone - Allan included - saw what the item was, and composed himself.

"Nothing interesting," Kawaguchi said in a cool voice, slowly analyzing the message in his mind. Master their use, hmm?

He looked at Allan and smirked.

Author's notes:

Surely everyone figured it out the joke was the Gundam parody condoms.

Started this sometime in February, finished in May but never got around to editing/posting until much later.

- Elmina & Lady Harken (July 2014)