Dense, Rai told himself as he reached his room and leaned his back against the door. Well, he had known that from the moment he had met Ryusei, but being reminded of the fact on daily basis was absurd. He could probably have dragged Ryusei in here and dropped his clothes in front of the boy, and Ryusei still wouldn't get it. Hinting about something was certainly not going to cut it as he had once again learned after smirking to Ryusei in a certain very clearly suggestive way in the cafeteria while the boy was discussing mech swords with Lieutenant Irm. It was Ryusei's own fault for making it sound wrong in so many levels. Rai shook his head; the boy had looked at him and definitely seen that smirk, but no, he just wouldn't get what was so amusing about what he had just said, even though it had been a blatant sexual comment and Irm had even replied with something related to it.

He wondered how Elzam dealt with Sanger. The major wasn't as dumb as Ryusei, but getting the point across probably took some effort. Then again, it was Elzam he was thinking about here. Elzam just knew better and knew how to take what he wanted. Rai gritted his teeth; why wasn't that possible for him? Probably because his partner was such an annoyance who knew how to make something sound perverted and not realize what he was saying.

That, and the part where Elzam would call me antisocial or something, he thought sullenly. Elzam had certain social skills that he lacked - or just simply refused to learn or show. Elzam was always so much better than him. He frowned at the thought, annoyed. He would make sure to surpass his brother one day, whatever the subject was. Although he had more tolerance for his brother now, there were things he just wasn't willing to accept.

He walked over to the bed and sat down to do a quick analysis on the situation. Point number one, he wanted Ryusei. Point number two, Ryusei was an idiot. Point number three, if he ever wanted anything done he would have to be the one to make the first move. Point number four, he hated doing that, and point number five, he secretly hoped that Ryusei would just take him and stop making him do all the work.

The chances of that happening were one in a million and he knew that. How the heck does Elzam do it, then? He pondered, again irritated at himself for comparing himself to his older brother. Sad fact is, he would probably tell me if I asked, but like I'd ever give him that pleasure... Damn him!

He cursed himself for ever wanting Ryusei, but it was too late to regret anything. The sex was good, that he had to admit. It was just that actually getting to it was harder than it should have been, even though Ryusei certainly didn't seem to have anything against it.

Useless, he added to the already large pile of insults. Or maybe clueless would have been a better word, but how could anyone be clueless after more than half a year? Right, Ryusei could; that was not one of his better qualities after all. It was one of the things that made him so attractive, though. The boy's maturity level was totally below Rai's standards, but he couldn't help but find it adorable.

He rubbed his forehead with his left hand, wishing he could stop thinking. That made him freeze and stare at the hand for a moment before hitting it against the wall behind him in frustration. There had to be something he could do and straying from the subject was only going to make him more uncomfortable than he already was. He definitely didn't need any distractions right now.

Maybe I'm the one who's stupid, he thought. Plain stupid, for wanting someone who'd rather look at mechs than at me.

He found himself staring at the opposite wall and wanting to laugh at his last thought. How ridiculous; why would he ever want Ryusei to look at him? He did know he was good-looking but it was irrelevant to him, and he couldn't have cared less when someone was admiring his looks. Lieutenant Excellen kept calling him "Handsome" after all and while some would have been flattered, he just didn't care.

Oh, maybe it's because she's a woman? He mocked himself. Which makes you gay for not noticing a hot woman when there is one, and wanting the attention of a complete moron who likes to drool over cute mechs. Ha, how pathetic.

It was getting clear that he was the pathetic one, and he hated himself for it. He was in denial about what was in front of him, and things weren't going to change. He was comfortable having Ryusei as a friend, and giving up on anything else was the logical thing to do here. He was just not willing to lose. Maybe it was some twisted competition against his brother, but the stakes were too high and he didn't want to yield, even if Elzam had no idea anything was going on. So maybe he would have to take the lead if he wanted to get anything done, but if Elzam could do it, so could he.

Elzam again. Even when his issues weren't family-related, they were somehow linked to Elzam. He hissed as he hit his hand on the wall again, disappointed at his own behavior. Elzam had nothing to do with this while Ryusei had everything to do with this. Elzam was a distraction, someone to blame when the only one to blame was himself.

Damn it, he cursed in his mind. Damn it all to hell! Damn Elzam, damn that idiot called Ryusei who I desire since I'm pathetic, and damn my...

His thoughts were interrupted abruptly; someone was at the door. He got up reluctantly and went to open it. He sighed when he saw Ryusei. Of course it just had to be the one person he wouldn't have wanted to see right now. Well, it could have been worse in theory - it could have been Elzam. Good thing his brother was nowhere near him right now.

"And what do you want?" He asked, clearly annoyed.

Ryusei either missed the tone of his voice or just didn't pay enough attention to it. "Um, I just wanted to check if you're okay? Earlier in the cafeteria... you just... left all of a sudden."

Rai stepped back, and Ryusei took it as an invitation to enter the room. "Why do you care?" Rai inquired, not even bothering to look at his friend. "Maybe I just got bored of the conversation. It was just you and your super robot battles."

"Well, I just... You know..." Ryusei started, and then went quiet for a long while.

Rai didn't know why, but he turned to look at Ryusei. It was worth it; the boy's face was bright red, and he looked flustered.

You... You actually figured out why I was smirking earlier, he realized. It took you a while, but you actually did.

He smiled, earning a dumbfounded "why are you smiling like that" look from Ryusei. Then he stepped closer, wrapped his arms around the boy and pressed his face against Ryusei's hair, reminded of another quality that he liked about Ryusei. Sometimes the boy just had the ability to make others around him feel better.

Dense maybe, but adorably dense.

Author's notes:

Set somewhere very late in OG1 or sometime after the game apparently. I was actually working on a Sanger x Elzam fic but got stuck on the part where they were supposed to have sex. We had angsty music playing in Winamp, and so I ended up writing this instead; glorious Rai angst in which he blames all his issues on Elzam for... no reason, really.

- Elmina (March 2008)