It was everywhere on the news, the accident at Technetium base. It was clear EFA was doing some cover-up work on the actual reasons of the incident, but there was also the truth, one that Maier Brainstein knew, truth about the accident and who was involved. While he was quite capable of keeping his cool under any circumstances, this was about his son. Granted, it was the younger son who had taken off while denying ever being part of the family in the first place, but his son nonetheless.

He leaned his face against his hands, his elbows propped against the desk, and tried to clear his thoughts. Raidiese had been involved in the accident. The base had blown up, there were only three survivors, and his son was one of them. The accident had happened a few hours ago today and had been made public about two hours ago. The D-Con on Maier's desk was playing yet another news report about the accident, but the sound was muted and he ignored it. There wasn't much to learn from the official news when the list of survivors and those who had died wasn't even official yet.

Never mind official and unofficial news reports, what mattered was that Raidiese wasn't dead. There had been an official EFA contact earlier, since no matter what Rai claimed, Maier was still his father and written down as closest family member in the army records. All he had been told was that Rai was one of the survivors and had been taken into a hospital; with bureaucracy being what it was when it came to army matters, Maier had contacted someone he knew at Mao Industries. A friend of said contact had enough access levels to find out what was really going on, and Maier was kept more or less up to date.

According to the latest message, Raidiese was in the military hospital and unconscious after the operation he had gone through, but he would recover. There had been some serious damage and the doctors were saying anything from four to six months for full recovery. All Maier could do was sit there and wait for his contact and another report, to hear that the boy was awake, to hear what else the doctors had found out - anything.

He needed to be there, and he knew he couldn't go.

"Father!"

Maier snapped out of it and raised his face. The person who had called him crossed the room and stopped in front of the desk. While Elzam Branstein was about as good at his father in keeping his calm, right now he looked quite shaken. "I heard," Elzam added as he leaned against the desk. He was wearing a pilot suit, and it was quite clear the man had gotten back to the UCC headquarters in a hurry. He was also obviously beyond the point where he would have cared about correct conduct in front of a superior officer. "Father, is," Elzam paused and calmed himself. His voice sounded off, full of worry, not like him at all. "All I've seen is the news. He..." He paused again and frowned, forced to struggle to control himself. "They say there are three survivors but they don't give their names. The test pilot, I know it was Raidiese..."

"He's alive," the older Branstein cut in and closed his eyes for a moment. "It's as the news says. The base is badly damaged and there are only three survivors. Raidiese was the test pilot and I don't know how he survived that, but he's alive. I have his medical report. Serious injuries and he was in an operation but..." It was Maier's turn to pause and compose himself. "He'll be fine," he continued, his voice firm. "He lost his left hand in the accident, but he'll recover."

The expression on Elzam's face turned into a mixture of relief and anguish. "Oh, Rai." He shook his head and clenched his hands into fists. "I can't help but to feel like this is my fault. I should go see him. One of us has to be there for him, and you..."

"Elzam," Maier interrupted. "I don't think that's such a good idea. You know that he doesn't want to see either of us." His face turned serious as he looked at his older son. "And watch what you say. I can't have you blame yourself for this. It was Raidiese's decision to leave, and it was his decision to sign up as a test pilot for Mao Industries' newest Personal Trooper. Therefore you don't get to say that you're to blame. If you say things like that, next thing I know I'll have Bian calling me and blaming himself for being one of the inventors of those EOT engines."

The younger Branstein opened his mouth to say something but then just sighed. His father wasn't one to joke about something like that, and while he didn't know Bian Zoldark as well as his father did, Elzam knew that had the situation ended worse, Bian actually might've done so. "I know," he mumbled, frustrated. "But there has to be something I can do. I know he wouldn't speak to me, but I still..." He trailed off and closed his eyes. "This will be hard for him, and he's alone. I can't accept that."

"You'll have to, for now," Maier replied. "Last I checked, Raidiese doesn't wish to be in any contact, and while he's stupid and stubborn, I need to respect that. He's alive. Isn't that what matters right now? Think of those who really did lose family members in the accident and be happy your brother still lives."

Elzam slammed his hands onto the desk and looked back at his father. "I know that, but I can't accept this! I know Rai, and he'll blame himself even if it isn't his fault. I know enough about new engines; something like this can happen and there's nothing the pilot could do, but I know my brother and he'll blame himself. Think I don't know about how he feels? I-"

"Elzam von Branstein!" When Maier Brainstein went as far as using the full name, Elzam knew he had said too much. "Remember who you are, and how to act!" Maier paused for a second before continuing and lowered his voice a little, calmer now. "Do you think you're the only one worried and hurting? Do you honestly think I don't want forget about my duty, go there, and bring Raidiese home right now, no matter what he thinks or has to say about that? No matter what he says, no matter what I've said or not said about the matter, that is my son out there, lying in a hospital alone, and God knows I need to be there! But we both know I can't." He took a deep breath and leaned his hands on the desk again. "I can't, and you can't either, Elzam. It's wrong, but that's how it is and you need to accept that."

There was a moment of silence, then Elzam stepped back and lowered his head, defeated. "I," he said, his voice calmer. "I apologize, father. You're absolutely right; this is not how I should act. I should respect Rai's feelings. I'm sorry for snapping like that, but for a moment, I could only think what it had felt like if I had lost him as well. He's still alive, and that's what matters the most. We can worry about any other details later."

Maier nodded, not commenting on the matter of losing Rai as well. "It's fine," he said. "It'll be fine, and think of it this way, Elzam. Maybe this'll be enough to get him to come to his senses and return home." He shook his head and smiled, even if his smile was a sad one. "Wishful thinking it may be, but allow this old fool that much."

"Maybe," Elzam replied, managing to smile a little as well. "Just maybe. I..." He was about to say something, but he went quiet as Maier's D-Con made a sound, informing about an incoming call.

Maier glanced at the thing and shook his head. "All right, now it really is Bian," he said. "I think I'll need to take this one. If he dares to blame himself in any way, I'm telling him to go jump into the ocean and drown himself."

Elzam nodded and turned to leave. "Guess I better go change clothes," he commented in an attempt to sound less gloomy. "See you home tonight, father. We... We'll have to talk later." He went for the door and exited the office, and Maier looked at the door for a second before turning to answer the call.

It would be fine, he told himself. It would be fine, and he was never wrong about these kind of things.

Author's notes:

Look a normal fic. Yep, Branstein angst is glorious.

- Lady Harken (December 2008)