Seed opened his eyes slowly and rolled over to see the alarm clock. It told him that it was almost 11 o'clock in the morning; he had slept for almost the whole night.

Then why the heck do I feel so damn tired...? Probably because I wasn't sleeping... I was unconscious or something like that. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. It's a wonder that I slept, anyway. My inner clock is messed up.

Finally, he forced himself up from the warm bed and headed to the kitchen to see if there was anything to eat. He didn't even notice that Cynthia was in the living room before the woman had sneaked up on him and slapped his butt.

"Morning, Seedling!"

"Aah!" The redhead jumped around. "Scare me like that again and I'll..."

The auburn-haired woman grinned. "What? Won't happen again! Now, you look like you could use some breakfast. Jay made some for you and left it there. I'll warm it up for you; go take a shower or something."

Seed stretched and yawned. "Wont happen again... That's what you said the last time, too. But food would be nice; I'm starving."

Half an hour later, after the red-haired man had taken a quick shower and eaten, he was sitting on the couch, Sijo on his lap. He stared blankly out of the window, petting the cat who was half-asleep. He still had a slight headache, and he feared that it wouldn't get better until later that day.

Cynthia, who was working on Jay's computer, glanced at him. "Seedling?"

"Yeah...?" he replied absently.

"Jay wanted me to force you to call your psychologist. He said that he knows there's something more to you coming home in the middle of a work shift than that you hit your head. A dream or something..." The woman smiled kindly.

Seed looked at her. "Fine. I was gonna do it, anyway..."

"Not going to talk about it, eh?" Cynthia shook her head. "Talk to the shrink, then. Say... Was Culgie in the dream?"

"Yeah, he was," the redhead answered reluctantly. "Give me the phone. I'm not gonna stand up right now."

Seed smiled slightly and petted the black cat some more. The woman handed him the phone and the phonebook. He looked up the number to the Medical Center where Lawson worked, chose it and waited, hoping that he didn't have to do this.

But hell, I'm crazy. I've had those dreams for years, but sometimes they're just a bit too much...

The secretary-nurse answered the phone after a while. Seed told her his name and asked to talk to Lawson, glaring at Cynthia who was looking at him.

"Hold on a second," the voice on the other end said. There was a beep, and then a familiar voice asked, "Seed, what is it?"

"I... need to talk," he said slowly. "Something... happened."

Lawson stayed quiet for a few seconds before replying. "Hmm. Wait a short moment, I'll check something from the secretary..."

The redhead sat back and closed his eyes. He didn't feel like talking to anyone, but he knew he'd have to. The dream kept coming to his thoughts even if he didn't want to think about it.

"How soon can you get here?" the psychologist asked after a minute had passed.

"In fifteen to twenty minutes, if I can get Cynthia to drive me over."

The brown-eyed woman took her jacket, picked up the sleeping cat from Seed's lap and put her down in a chair. "Well, let's go then, Seedling."

Seed stared at the random folder on Lawson's desk. He was seated in a chair this time; he was afraid that he'd get sleepy if he lay down on the couch, even though the psychologist had suggested that he did. She thought that he might want to relax.

And she's right, but I'm tired. Well, last three days I've been sleeping during this hour, so...

The brunette woman leaned forward. "So, you hit your head, and your partner sent you home. But what happened before that?"

He glanced at her. "I don't know if I really hit my head that badly. I... hit it on the floor, but I have the feeling that it wasn't the reason why I blacked out. Frank said I was unconscious for about half an hour. Because... I had a dream. A bad dream."

"And what was the dream like?"

"It was..." Seed started, closing his eyes. "I was wounded. Every inch of my body hurt. I couldn't move... I was afraid..."

"Afraid of what?" the woman asked while making notes.

"That I'd die there alone." The redhead squirmed in his chair. "Then... I heard his voice. Culgan was... I don't know, reciting a poem or something. He was holding me in his arms... I felt peaceful, the pain went away, and then..."

"Yes?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Next thing I remember is Frank who was trying to get me to wake up. My head hurt like hell... It still does. One of the guards drove me home, and I slept the rest of the night... and had another dream that wasn't that scary, but... That first dream keeps bothering me."

The psychologist gave him a calm, questioning look. "Why is that?"

"I think I... No, we died. I was with Culgan... He was holding me. I wasn't afraid, but still..." Seed looked at her. "Come on! What would you do if you had a dream where you die?"

"Everyone has dreams like that from time to time. But that's not what you meant, is it?"

Seed shook his head. "No. It was real, like it really happened. The war... We lost it. No, that doesn't matter; I gave my life for what I believed in. But I still wonder... Was it worth it? And..."

His voice trailed off, and he stared at the couch for a while, not seeing it there. Speaking about his feelings always gave him a hard time, and what he was about to say would be harder than usual. Admitting that he had felt something...

"Go on, Seed," the woman encouraged him.

He sighed. "Well, I just wonder if... Hell, I loved him! I just keep thinking about... Did he know? I know he did, but I still... Damn, why do I care, anyway? It's just a stupid dream! It's not like Culgan was a real person... Besides, he's a... I don't..."

"But he's real to you," the brunette noted. "In those dreams, that is. In the dreams, he's your friend... Your lover. You trust him. He's always there with you... Even when you died, he was there."

The wine-brown-eyed man gritted his teeth. "Here starts the psychological nonsense..."

Lawson looked shortly at her notepad, then at Seed again. "Listen to me, will you? As you've been told before, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your sexual preference. For some reason, you started to have dreams about him... Maybe you needed someone. But nowadays... You still have no real relationships, and you tend to avoid people. Is Culgan keeping you from going out and finding someone you might like?"

"Ha. You make it sound like I actually wanted to be with someone who exists only in my dreams... like I didn't want to find anyone. And you make it sound like I actually liked other men!" Seed glared at the psychologist. "The guy back in Gregminster gave me the same crap. My dreams aren't controlling me, you know! But if what you say is true, I'm probably gonna lose it eventually... and then..."

"That's why you're here, Seed," the woman reminded. "I won't let you do that. Remember what happened five years ago? We won't let you try that again."

The redhead shrugged. "Whatever... I don't care."

"Seed."

"What?" The man looked at her again. "I'm not suicidal! And I have friends and so on."

"But if you say that you don't care, you'll end up being just that. And yes, you have friends. They care for you, and know that you care for them, so..."

"Yeah, right." The red-haired man changed his sitting position again, trying to calm down. He felt nervous, and knew that it showed. "Oh, wanna hear something delightful? I thought I saw Culgan the other night, at work. There was a man who had gray hair, and my messed up mind made me think it was him. For a few seconds I wanted to go after him and check if... but..."

"Yes?"

"I know better than that!" he snapped. "He doesn't exist, dammit! Only... Only in my dreams. Of course, your explanation is that I was lonely when younger, and made him up. I'm not so sure about that, but still... Those dreams... Why are they so realistic?"

She sighed. "That's one thing we haven't figured out yet. Your old psychologist had a theory that had something to do with history, but... From what I know, you were never interested in history."

The redhead stared at his feet, feeling exhausted. "Yeah. And I don't watch too many movies or something like that, either. Fine, maybe I have a lively imagination. It still doesn't mean that I..."

"It's not that, Seed. One day, we will find out what caused all this. But, until then..."

"Until then, I try to stay sane and visit you every week to tell you what I've been doing with some guy in my dreams. Fun," Seed replied dryly.

Lawson looked at him calmly. "You can't help it. And don't be so bothered by it - there are a lot of people who have far more serious problems than you do. Think about it; most of the time, those dreams are... quite pleasant."

"Well... You could say that, I guess."

"So as long as you remember that they're just dreams, you'll be fine," the psychologist said soothingly.

Seed sighed. "Right."

"Take it easy, all right?" She stood up and put the notepad on the desk." Well, you'd better go now. I spent most of my lunch break with you; I have about ten minutes to eat something before someone comes over, so... Just go home and rest. You said that you have the night off, too."

"Yeah... Well, see you in a couple of days." The redhead got up and left the room.

Once he was out of the building, he stopped to check the clock; it was past noon. He felt tired, but he decided to walk home, just to get some exercise. It would take him over half an hour, but that didn't matter.

As he walked slowly along the streets, he tried to process the things Lawson had said. It made little sense to him, but then again, he had never understood psychologists.

Still can't figure out why I have those dreams, eh... Well, maybe there's just something seriously wrong with my head. And that's why...

His thoughts were interrupted by the fact that he had to go around a few cars. He glared at the drivers and crossed the street, glancing back when he was on the other side... and something caught his eye.

There was a dark-haired boy on the other side of the street. When the boy saw the redhead, he smiled and looked at him for some time before turning around and joining someone Seed couldn't see clearly. The other seemed to have a blond hair, but that's all he could see.

Seed stared after the two, blinking a few times. As if... I had seen that kid before.

Finally, he shrugged and continued his walk, thinking about his dreams.

The dreams. Culgan is always there... And there is a war. Lawson said something about history, right? Stupid idea, but maybe... Maybe I'll go check from the library one of these days. But now... home.

It was well over 1 PM when he got home. Still feeling tired, he went to sleep, and woke up when Jay got home from work five hours later.

Seed spent most of the evening watching TV, while his roommate went out with Cynthia. When the lovebirds returned around eleven, Jay threatened to drag the redhead to bed. Seed went to bed reluctantly, knowing that he couldn't sleep yet.

For the next hour, he lay in his bed staring at the roof, thinking. At least the headache seems to be gone... whatever.

He rolled over and looked around his somewhat untidy bedroom. He didn't own that many things, but there were clothes and other things on the floor. He sighed, realizing that he was feeling quite lonely.

What if Lawson was right...? Hmm. Maybe I should get a girlfriend. But what's the point? No one can stand me long enough to develop a serious relationship... I wonder why Jay still tolerates me.

It took him an hour and a half before he could finally get some sleep.

"That's why I'm here. These two folders here... And I wrote a letter for you. Must say, I was a bit surprised when you called and said that you'd be working at home today."

The man smiled slightly. "Since I'm going to see that shrink later, I figured that I could just as well stay here. It's in two hours."

"That's the reason why I came to visit myself and didn't just send someone to bring the papers over. I could've called, but..."

"What?"

Lina placed the folders on the living room table. "I got a call from the Medical Center where your psychologist works. One of his patients got hospitalized, and so the psychologist isn't there for few days. They did, however, find you another time."

Culgan shrugged. "When? Not today?"

"3.30 PM. That's only a few hours later than your original time, so it's fine. And you don't have any important meetings or such today, so I changed the time. Is that fine?"

"Just as fine as the original," he replied. "I don't mind that much which shrink I go to see, as long as I go see one. I seem to have a problem..."

Lina looked a bit worried. "What? Has something happened?"

"Nothing important. I just fainted last night. No, don't start; I haven't been working too much or anything. I was probably just too tired. Don't look at me like that. Oh, fine, it was past midnight and I was working. Start lecturing."

The woman smirked. "Knew it. You work too much. You fainted? There you go. See now? From now on, you'll start going to bed at 11 and sleep till 7 AM. Got it? Hmm... What's that smell? Are you burning something in the kitchen?"

Culgan shook his head, looking a bit annoyed and walked to the kitchen. "Darn. No worries, not burning yet..."

"You're cooking? That's new... What is that?"

"Hey, I have to eat sometimes. So yes, I can cook. But must admit that I did this better 1000 years ago... This? Some stew. Eaten anything yet?"

The blue-eyed woman shook her head. "Not really. You, making stew? That's really new... And so you think I'm gonna pass the chance to try it?"

Culgan gave her a half-smile as he took two plates from the cupboard. "I had to learn to cook back in the law school. I'm actually pretty good at this. So here, some stew. I learned the recipe from my weird dreams."

Lina returned the smile, then tasted her stew. "Mm, this is great. So, some good things come from your dreams, after all..."

"I wouldn't say that's the only good thing, but... Glad that you like. I think I'll join you for now... After all, I seem to have a few hours left for working after lunch, so..."

"Ever heard of resting?"

"No. What's that?"

The woman just smiled, shaking her head.

Culgan arrived at the Medical Center right on time, and after asking the receptionist, he found the psychologist's office quite easily. The name of the shrink he was going to see was Anne Lawson.

They talked about some normal things first, and the woman asked about his health and some background things, making notes in a medical form. After almost half an hour of normal questions, the brunette smiled, put the medical file away and took a notepad.

"Now, why don't you start from the beginning. Why did you want to see a psychologist in the first place?"

"I have a problem. Isn't that always the reason?" The silver-haired man smiled back calmly. "All right. Actually, this is about something that happened to me yesterday..."

"Go on."

"I had to go to court at 10 AM, and was driving there. I had to stop at the lights, and then I saw someone crossing the street. I couldn't believe my eyes at first, but then I got out of the car and ran after him, calling his name. But he was gone, and I couldn't find him. After this incident, I couldn't think straight anymore, almost messed up in court and my boss told me to go home early. "

The woman wrote something in her notes. "Interesting. And why did the incident make you act like this?"

Culgan gave the brunette another half-smile. "I was just getting to that, Ms. Lawson. The person I saw was someone I've dreamt of all my life. Almost every night."

He raised an eyebrow, not sure what the look he got from the psychologist meant. "Sounds crazy enough for you?"

Lawson looked at him, then nodded. "Not really. I've... heard about these kinds of things before. Please, continue. Tell me about these dreams."

"Well. In my dreams... In the dreams, I am living in the Kingdom of Highland, 1000 years ago. My name is Culgan, and I'm a general in the Highland Royal Army. Now, this will sound even weirder... But I've studied history and know that there was indeed a general with that name around that time."

"Hmm. Go on."

Culgan took a deep breath. "In the dreams there's also a man called Seed. He's a high-ranking officer, and my lover. I don't find this unusual, since I prefer men, but... Ms. Lawson? Is something wrong?"

The woman shook her head. "No, it's okay. I've just..."

"Heard a similar story before? Or does this sound too weird? I mean, I know this sounds crazy... But I'm serious. I really have these kinds of dreams. I've had them since I was 10 years old, I think... Probably had them before too, but I was too young to understand them before that. But, this person whom I saw... It was Seed. I'm very sure of it."

Lawson wrote something on her notepad, staring at her desk. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. The things this man was telling her...

"Dreams... about the wars? And you and him being lovers? And you... think you saw him? Hmm... Could you describe one of these dreams to me?"

Culgan nodded. "The dreams are like that, yes. Some are from the battles and some are daily life... In some dreams, we're in bed, if you know what I mean with that. Let's see... The last dream that I can remember clearly... There was a war... A battle. I led my troops against some mercenaries, and saw Seed trying to warn me about something. There was a mage, and he tried to kill me... I fell from my horse. The mage thought I was dead, so I managed to surprise him with a thunder spell. He escaped... And then Seed came running. He was worried about me. We talked and I kissed him..."

He paused for a moment, then laughed a bit. "Or maybe that wasn't the last dream I remember. Last night I dreamed of us making love. But I'm not sure if you want to hear about that."

The brunette smiled a bit, still staring at her desk. "It's okay. Now... You mentioned about fainting last night. Has anything like that happened before?"

Culgan shook his head. "Not that I could recall. Or... There may be one thing that has something to do with this. There was this incident five years ago... I did see a psychologist a few times after that, but didn't tell him about the dreams, so..."

He paused for a second and smiled a bit sadly. "Ms. Lawson? Tell me... When you first saw me, did you wonder why a man who's only 30 has gray hair?"

"A bit, yes. Does this have something to do with the incident you mentioned?"

"It has indeed." He closed his eyes for a moment. "When I was 25... I had only worked at Daviaux, Caswell & Associates for a short period of time. Now... You see, my hair was black back then. Before this incident, I mean. But it's been like this ever since..."

"What happened?"

The silver-haired man shrugged. "I'm not sure, actually. You could try finding the medical file of the few days I spent in the hospital. Someone found me from my office in the afternoon. They told me I had been lying on the floor, looking half-insane and very scared. The only thing they could get out of me was the thing I kept saying over and over again... 'Seed, don't leave me'. They took me to the hospital and the doctors checked me. There were all kinds of things wrong with me, starting from my blood pressure to heart beat rate... But they just couldn't say why I was like that."

He sighed, changing his position on the chair a bit.

"They kept me there for the night. When I woke up in the morning, everything was back to normal... except that my hair had turned to white-gray. The original color never returned - my hair has been silvery like this ever since. Anyway... I couldn't tell them what had happened, and didn't remember a thing. And all I could tell to the psychologist afterwards was the only feeling I remembered... It was... hard to explain. Like my soul had been dying."

While the ice-blue-eyed man was speaking, Lawson had taken a folder from her desk drawer, and was staring at a note that was on top of the folder. The note had been written by a psychiatrist who worked at Gregminster, and it described a young man called Seed.

"A bit fanatic and paranoid. Acts somewhat aggressive from time to time. Hates taking orders, but follows them if he has to. Also has hard time trying to relax completely.

Seed has been having certain kind of dreams starting from when he was 12 years old. These dreams are always about him being a general in a war (most likely the Dunan Unification Wars back in the 5th century, can't say for sure; should do research on this subject). Also, as this general, he had a male lover called Culgan. These dreams keep coming back several times a week, and can sometimes be nightmarish, especially if the dream is about a battle.

Attempted suicide when 20-year-old, and when asked for a reason, said that 'I was feeling empty and alone.' Has been hospitalized once after the suicide attempt. In my opinion, this should not be done unless it is seen absolutely necessary (that is, if his behavior turns into very violent, or self-destructive). I do believe that this won't happen as long as he remembers to try to stay calm and sees a psychologist once a week.

Seed sought a hobby (Fencing) because I recommended that he should do so, if just to calm down his nerves. He is, by the way, very good at it, from what he told me. He was..."

The woman stared at the few lines on the note. Attempted suicide when 20.

Seed... she thought. We talked about that when he started seeing me, but he tends to avoid the subject... But, that suicide attempt was five years ago. And... he just told me earlier today that he fainted last night.

"Ms. Lawson?"

The brunette turned her gaze to the silver-haired man. "Mr. Black... Culgan, wasn't it?"

The man gave her the half-smile again. "Yes. You could call me that, too. I don't like 'Mr. Black' that much, as it sounds very formal. And I am your patient, after all, so Culgan is fine."

"Well, Culgan. You... You're gay?"

"I mentioned that before, yes. I prefer men. And in the dreams I have a male lover. That probably isn't unusual for someone like me, but... It seems... so real."

Lawson stared at her papers again. "And generals called Culgan and Seed are mentioned somewhere in the history records?"

"Yes. I don't know if the records say anything about them being lovers, though. I just know I... am him. I probably shouldn't have said that, as I don't think people working in the field of psychology believe in reincarnation theories... But what if I am that same Culgan, and Seed is somewhere, too? What if I really saw him? What is the possibility of that happening?"

The woman smiled a bit, shaking her head. "I don't know. I've never believed in reincarnations... I must say, this conversation gives me a lot to think about. I think I'll have to find those medical files of your hospitalization, and check some things regarding to the war 1000 years ago. This... sounds quite... This Seed... And you..."

Culgan looked at the woman a bit curiously. "This sounds completely insane? I really am in need of psychological help?"

"I... can't tell you more right now," she said. "And the time is almost over, so... I'll have the nurse call your secretary later."

The silver-haired man nodded. "Of course. Well, thank you. I think I'll have to leave for work now, anyway, so..."

He said proper good byes and left. Lawson stayed in her room, staring at the new notes and the file on her desk for a long time.

Lina shook her head as he appeared at the office half an hour later. "Who told you that you could come to work today? Hmph. Did you see the shrink?"

The silver-haired man looked at her calmly. "Yes, I did. And I came to work because I have a lot of work to do. I can't ignore my duties because of things like this. I'll go work in the library."

The dark-blond woman sighed, smiling a bit as she watched the man going to his office, taking some papers and a couple of folders. "Are you sure you'll be fine?" she asked as Culgan stepped out of the office.

He nodded slightly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Want me to get you another time with the shrink?"

"No need to, I think. Ms. Lawson said that a nurse would call about the next appointment. Just make sure that I have time for that."

Lina smiled. "That's my job, Mr. Black. Oh, your sister called. Said something about you promising to take the kids to ride, and that she needs to get rid of them for a few hours tomorrow... Come on, Culgan. You need some time off. Do it."

He sighed. "First Sara, and you, too. Two against one. All right, I lose. Call her and tell her that it's fine by me. I'll just have to work later, then... Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing. Seeing that shrink was surely a good thing. You never give up that easily."

Culgan laughed a bit. "If you say so. I'll be in the library if anything important comes up. Otherwise..."

"Yes, I know. Do not disturb unless the building is on fire."

The ice-blue-eyed man just smiled, then turned and headed to the library.