Setting notes: Culgan was married to an older woman who is now dead. He's 23, Seed is 20. They met a few years ago and Seed has wanted Culgan for himself ever since.

Seed: *He honestly believed that this was his only chance to have what he's wanted for four years. The only thing that's ever impeded him is now gone. Death is the death of marriage, Seed knew this and he hoped that Culgan did as well. Being younger, of lower rank, being a peasant didn't stop him from rising up in the ranks and it wouldn't stop him now. Culgan would finally be his, this he resolved.*

Culgan: *He was sitting in the library, trying to read a book about battle tactics. Trying. He knew very well that he had been staring at the same page for at least half an hour now. He sighed, lowered the book and glanced outside the window. //I haven't been able to concentrate on anything lately... I wish I knew how to get over it...// *

Seed: *Upon seeing Culgan staring at the window with that distant look in his eyes, he didn't hesitate for a single second.* Culgan?

Culgan: *He turned his head to see the redhead.* Seed... *He gave the younger man a sad half-smile; Seed was always welcome company for him. And right now... Everyone was telling him not to be alone, even though he preferred it that way.*

Seed: *He returned the smile, feeling even more hopeful despite knowing that this would not be easy. He decided on subtly now, even though he knew he was no good at that.* Are you feeling better?

Culgan: That depends on how you define "better". *He put the book one the small table next to the chair.* Well, at least I slept last night... Few first ones, I couldn't. You know I'm not the type to get stuck on things like this, but... *He felt saddened for a moment, but as always, nothing could be seen from his face. He always managed to look very calm, not matter what.*

Seed: *He blinked, a little shaken at what Culgan said. He knew that he loved his wife dearly. But, he supposed that this was Culgan's way of trying to put all this behind him. He caught the sadness though and he sensed it, no matter how much his friend was trying to hide it.* You loved her dearly...*He faltered, pained at saying that because for four years, he seethed in jealousy over his former superior's marriage*. It can't be easy to get over.

Culgan: It's not. *He looked at his friend, wondering what was behind Seed's words.* I loved her so much... And now... I'm alone. *He took a deep breath.* Not easy to get over, but that is what I have to do. It's beginning to affect my work already, and I can't let that happen.

Seed: *He understood what Culgan was saying, but that "alone" part got to him. //Gods... give me the strength to do this//.* Culgan, you're not alone.

Culgan: *He shook his head, smiling.* Seed... You know, you're the first one to actually say that to me. Everyone tells me to find some company, but... *He sighed and looked down before raising his face and looking at the redhead again.* Will you be here, then? Aren't you afraid that I'll be dull to be with?

Seed: *He frowned* Dull? Of course not. *He slowly approached Culgan* I'll be here for you. I-- *He was about to say "I love you", but he caught himself.*

Culgan: *He closed his eyes for a moment.* Thank you, Seed. *He opened his eyes again and gave the younger man another half-smile.* Actually, I guessed you'd say that... I've known you for a long time. We've spend enough time together for me to know you quite well.

Seed: *Now was the chance. He smiled.* Do you now? Then you should know I feel about you. *He tensed, ready for whatever may come.*

Culgan: *He turned to look at the book lying on the table. //Why did you have to mention that right now? Yes, I know; I've known from the beginning. Your feelings... are stronger than my affection to you. I... just don't think this is the right moment to talk about that.// * Seed... Yes, I think I do. But...

Seed: *His eyes widened* You think you do? *He decided to just let it all out.* For four years, I've longed for you. DID you know that!?

Culgan: I always did, Seed. *He looked at the redhead, trying to read what was beyond those fiery eyes.* You hide your feelings well, but from someone like me... No. I'm sorry, Seed. I never... *He paused to take a deep breath and to see the younger man's reaction.*

Seed: *His blood ran cold when he heard Culgan's words. He knew that he was no good at hiding himself, but he never thought that he was so bad at it that Culgan would see it. He wasn't surprised, but he still felt that knot in his stomach. He decided to press onward.* You never what? Knew?

Culgan: I never... did anything, or said anything. I knew how you felt, yet I never said a thing. You know me... I am very devoted to the things I love.

Seed: *Clenched his hands into fists, his old jealousy returning.* Yes, I know. I also know that she's dead! *He looked down, honestly fearing how Culgan may react to his outburst.*

Culgan: She? *He shook his head again and looked down.* I... I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone. But... The thing I love the most is Highland. Highland still lives, and I have devoted my life to my country. People... come after that.

Seed: *His eyes widened. He knew that Culgan was devoted to his country. Hell, so was he. But, Seed never knew to what extent until now. For a few moments, he was at a loss at how to respond. But, then he realized that it was now or never.* Culgan, I know you are devoted to your country and I know you loved her, but didn't /I/ fit anywhere? Have you any idea how much.../I/ /love/ /you/!?

Culgan: Seed... Despite the fact that we are completely different, you are my best friend. Sometimes though... I used to wonder how you had the strength to be with me, knowing that I didn't feel the same as you did.

Seed: *He quickly replied.* I found the strength. I don't know how I did it, but I endured. Somehow I knew that would have my chance eventually. *He took a deep breath.* Culgan, she's gone now. You have to know this now... I love you. Yes, I love you and it has been true for four years. I... I... *He lost his words and hoped that Culgan would just make it easy for him and simply yield to him.*

Culgan: *He stared at the floor for a while.* Four years... *He stood up and circled behind the chair, stopping to look out from the window.* Why, Seed? What made you fall in love with me? Why fall in love with someone who's married?

Seed: *He slowly approached Culgan, careful not to get to close.* You were my superior officer when I first joined the Highland Army. You were my instructer. When I first saw you, I saw your strength, your obvious dignity and courage. I--at first, I thought it was a simple teenage lust, but I soon realized that it was something much more than that. *He grit his teeth, knowing that now was the time to be more forceful.* I want you for myself! I couldn't help my feelings then, I don't intend to start now!

Culgan: Seed, now is not a good time. *He knew he sounded colder than usual when he said that, but he felt like he had to make it clear somehow. //Oh gods, why? Don't you realize I can't return your feelings? Not right now, Seed...// Yet, he was afraid that he would drive the redhead away by being too cold.* I can't...

Seed: *He felt his blood cold.* Don't say that... *He began to feel a little desperate.* She is gone, Culgan! She's never coming back! Please... love me... *He wanted to die right there. He had never begged in his life, but to win Culgan, he'd do just about anything now.*

Culgan: Do you even realize what you're asking? *He turned around to face the younger man.* You are practically asking me to forget my wife and... replace her with you. I can't do that; she can't simply be replaced. I also know you don't want like that... And besides, I care too much for you not to do it.

Seed: *Anger filled his heart, but he surpressed it.* I'm not asking to replace her! All I want is for you to love me! To be with me! I know it might sound like much now, but given time, things will be better! I'll take good care of you. *He couldn't believe he said that, but it was too late now.* I will...

Culgan: No, Seed. At the moment, that is what you are asking. My wife died only a few days ago! I miss her... Oh, how I miss her... *He breathed in slowly, not letting go of his always calm appearance. //Gods, what am I supposed to do? Seed... Are you really sure you could help me right now?// * It's just... Right now, it might not be a good idea. I...

Seed: *He continued to press onward, his feelings, as usual, overriding his rational thought.* Please, Culgan, accept me! I know I don't have much to offer! I know that I must be nothing compared to what you could have! I know that I have nothing to give you but my blood, sweat and tears, but I'd give it all to you! I'd tear off my skin for you! I'd-- *He tried to calm down as best he could.* Please, don't reject me... I wish that I... wish you'd know how strongly I love you... *Exhausted, he fell to his knees.*

Culgan: Seed, get up. *He stepped forward and offered his hand to the red-haired man.* I know you. I know exactly how strongly you can feel... *He sighed, his ice-blue eyes filled with gentleness.* I didn't reject you. I would never do it because of what you have to offer... What you have means nothing, if just you're there when I need you...

Seed: *He looked up at Culgan with a hopeful look in his eyes.* Of course I'll be there when you need me. *He grabbed his friend's hand and pulled himself up. He stood very close to Culgan now, he decided to move closer, his inches away from the older man's.* I'll always be there for you. I always have been. I always will be... *He wanted desperately to just lean that one inch over and kiss Culgan, but he didn't dare.*

Culgan: *He gave the other man a smile, looking into Seed's wine-brown eyes.* I know. *He drew the redhead closer and wrapped his arms around him.* But don't be so desperate now... You want so much. You should have more patience... You're way too passionate.

Seed: *He drew himself up to his friend's height and returned the embrace, pressing his lips against Culgan's neck.* Forgive me... I cannot help who I am.

Culgan: *He pressed his face against the soft red hair.* I know that, too. Still... I wish you weren't asking so much. I can't love you the way you love me... Not right now. It's too soon. But Seed... *He smiled again.* I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. You think I don't love you. I'm not sure if I really do, but... My feelings are beyond the normal affection one feels for a friend, so I guess...

Seed: *He sighed into Culgan's neck as his heart sank.* Oh Culgan, I know in time you will love me as I love you. * //I have to know this or I'll die...// *

Culgan: *He closed his eyes, just holding the other man close.* Maybe I will. But there we go again - you're too impatient. You have to give me time. Seed... Try to think of yourself in my position... Then you'll realize why I can't swear my eternal love to you right now. Who knows, if you are patient enough, one day I just might be doing that.

Seed: *He whispered* I've been patient for four years... *He pulled away from Culgan, looking directly into his eyes.* I can be patient for more. I told you, I'd do anything for you. Know that.

Culgan: There we go. *He placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder and looked back into his eyes.* Thank you, Seed. Now I actually do feel better. Maybe I can soon concentrate on work, too... *He gave Seed his usual half-smile.* Whatever happens, whenever I stop feeling so frustrated and alone... At least I now know that you truly are there for me.

Seed: *Feeling embolded at his friend's words, he again drew himself up to Culgan and firmly planted his lips against the older man's.*

Culgan: *He hesitated for a few seconds, but then answered to the kiss. //Seed... Ah well, you deserve at least this much...// He wrapped his arms around the redhead again, holding him close.*

Seed: *He felt encouraged and easily parted the other's lip, letting his tongue slowly explore Culgan's firm mouth. He too wrapped his arms around the older man.*

Culgan: *He let the kiss continue for some more time, but then broke it, although he knew that Seed wouldn't have wanted to.* Sorry I had to do that... But, you do realize someone could walk in on us? This is a public place, despite the fact that I always pick the most peaceful corner... *There were traces of amusement in his calm eyes.*

Seed: *He smiled.* It's okay, I understand. *He looked down now, suddenly feeling shy, which was unusual for him.*

Culgan: *He touched the younger man's chin lightly before letting go and stepping back.* Well. Now, should I continue reading, or... Hmm. I'm actually starving. Might as well go get something to eat...

Seed: *Felt a little shocked at such a rather nonchalant reply, but then again, he knew Culgan and thus, shouldn't be surprised.* I get to go with you, yes? *He grinned.*

Culgan: Sure, but only if you're buying. *He gave the younger man a meaningful smile.* I'll buy the next time. Fair enough?

Seed: *He couldn't help but grin.* Small price to pay, I suppose. Well, come on then, I'd like to take you somewhere nice. *He lead the way out of the library.*

Culgan: Somewhere nice, eh? Sounds good to me... * He smiled to the redhead. //There are still a lot of things I need to get over, but... At least I'm not alone.// He shook his head slightly and followed Seed.*